reason #4212 why i hate being a grownup


You all know what I'm saying here, right? In college, I had no compunctions about that blanket imprinted with a tiger's face that lived through several years of being moved in garbage bags, covered in drunken puke and other unspeakable bodily fluids and burned by, well, you know**. Then I graduated from The Bubble and spent the next decade with a quilt that my great grandma had made covering the full-sized mattress that sat on the floor of whatever apartment I currently occupied. Then, a few years ago, I decided to buy a big boy bed and along with that, for some unholy reason, came big boy bed clothes. Which meant a down comforter and, yes, a duvet cover. Which is now the bane of my existence, for several reasons: 1) keeping it free of dog hair and lint is nearly impossible 2) putting it back on the comforter after washing it. Is there anything more torturous? And 3) the final insult? Buttons. Designed to be buttoned so that no one can actually see the buttons. Couldn't they've just put a strip of velcro on it and called it good?

* This is not my bedroom. If only! Then I could afford a maid whom I could pay to deal with the duvet cover for me.
** None of this is true, but it makes the story much much better than the reality of my boring college existence.


Kate Calder said...

Sean, your house is sooo cool, and not "grown-up" at all. I often wish my house was as nice as yours.

But, I do feel your pain about comforter covers. They are rather stupid. We usually go with washable spreads, but we don't need down comforters in our house.

If you want, you can bring the doo-vay over to my place, and I'll happily replace the buttons with velcro. That's super easy. Plus, I could add tie-points to your comforter and cover that would make getting it on much easier. Just let me know if you're interested.

Dave said...

What's next, a dust ruffle? You've got to resist these urges. Resist! Burn that duvet cover! Put that mattress back on the floor! Fight the power, man!

d said...

kate: i am especially intrigued by these tie points you speak of. we may have to discuss that.

dave: it happens to the best of us dude. it'll happen to you someday as well.

Rebel said...

OMG!!!! I'm having this issue right now!

I bought new blankets & duvet covers a little while ago and just washed them. On Tuesday I tried putting the blanket back in and I was swearing the whole time. I couldn't find the inside corners of the cover, then I think I twisted the blanket when I tied them in... and the whole thing was a mess and I could NOT sort it out. I just threw the whole thing on the bed in a lump and went to sleep under a couple of quilts & a throw blanket.

Dude those things are complicated!

Big Daddy said...

I have to dry clean my cover.


d said...

rebel: i hear ya, man. let's revolt.

daddy: i specifically avoided buying one that would need dry cleaning. *shudders*