i can kind of, sort of, almost, maybe save your life

Back in January I signed up for a Wilderness First Aid class, thinking that I would maybe like to start leading some group hikes for the Sierra Club, or at the very least be able to handle any emergencies that arise when I'm out in the wild. So, I spent the last two days with 29 other people wrapped in gauze and covered in fake blood.

Here's what I learned:
1) I can keep your spine stable.
2) I can molest you under the guise of checking out whether you're bleeding somewhere.
3) I can pack your wound and I know what to do if you lose a finger.
4) I can turn a human into a burrito.
5) And I know two (conflicting) things to do if caught in a lightning storm.
6) I can also take your pulse (if I can find it) and tell you what PWD, CSM, MOI and LOR mean. Shit that class was full of acronyms.

I also learned that I need a much, much better first aid kit.


Ann said...

Congrats! And everybody teases me about MY HUGE FIRST AID KIT. Okay? I've had A LOT OF THESE CLASSES. And they make you want to carry a 1 pound, at a minimum, first aid kit!!!

d said...

being safety conscious is in no way conducive to going light.

G said...

The molestation part is definitely the best.

That may be the 3 beers talking, though.