somedays it pays to just stay home

So this is one that The Cherry Ride will enjoy.

I go to the grocery store today and I walk in and this woman is blocking the aisle with her cart while she chats with one of the employees, so I wait patiently for them to finish (No. I couldn't go around, she was blocking pretty much the only way to get through the entrance into the store.). She finishes up her chat and then turns her cart directly into my path and pushes it right into my legs. Then she looks to her right and picks up some leftover, trashy looking wreath covered in plastic Easter eggs and bric-a-brac.

"No. Really. Excuse me," I say, waiting for her to acknowledge that, yes, there is another human being in the space she is occupying and she just ran into them with her cart.

Nothing. No reply. No apology. Nothing.

It's too bad that she was a) a woman, b) about 55, 'cause otherwise I might've punched her in the face. Seriously.



let's not speak of it (or WHOOO HOOOOO)

It's really sad and scary when Sasha Kaun is the KU player of the game, but we pretty much owe that win to him. And Mario Chalmers. Thank the bball gods that Chalmers hit all those three's. And some Jayhawk fan somewhere must've sacrificed a goat or a small child because there's really no reason why we didn't choke like...a thing that chokes. And it must've happened right before Curry mucked up that last play. I think I actually died there for a second. (btw there is no Heaven or Hell-it's a field of puppies.)

I know I should be ecstatic that we survived and made it into the Final Four (whooo hooo!) but really all I can do is try to prepare for what T calls 'The Worst Week of Our Lives' as we writhe in agony over what will occur on Saturday. I know it's not going to be pretty.


entire civilizations have been forgotten, ground into the epidermis before they even had a chance to take that first, sweet, lung-filled-to-capacity breath of soot smudged air. and there's nothing left to be accomplished that can't be undone by immersing the extremities in vats of holy water and praying mindlessly that the stains will be erased.

because in the end, regret does nothing but cause the stomach to bleed uselessly.


the worst has come to pass

The Cardinals did not beat those smug bastards at UNC. Dammit. Oh just to see his face makes me so angry I want to reach through the tv screen and punch all of his teeth in. And, as my friend Q said, CBS wants to sleep with that fucker Tyler Hansborough (or however you spell his stupid name). I hate that kid.


i know, i know, but only one more week and all talk of basketball will terminate for the duration of the dearth of all things sports: or baseball

We're in the Elite 8 baby! Which is the stupidest name out of all the names they give each level of the tourney. Sweet 16? Sweet. Final Four? Awesome. Elite 8? Moronic.

Anyway, last night's game against 'Nova was probably one of the most boring games I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I guess we won at least though.That was nice. And, I guess I prefer us to walk all over the opponent rather than have to go into triple overtime or something drastic and nailbiting like that.

Sadly, it looks like I'm going to miss Sunday's game because of work. But the ability to eat is probably more important than one basketball game, right? But just barely.

And, I'm still No 1 in Doug's pool, although I have to share the honors with another dude named Adam who was smart enough to pick Memphis to go to the Elite 8. I seriously didn't think Memphis was everything everyone else thought they were. I certainly didn't think they really deserved their No 1 seed in the tourney. I mean they play in the American Conference which sounds like something made up for a really bad tv drama about basketball.


weekly photo challenge

Spring. In 'rado. The green stuff starting to peek tentatively out of the ground. Only to get clobbered over the head with more of the white, cold shit that we're all so sick of. This morning. Seriously. A blizzard. This afternoon. 55º and kind of sunny. Blech. Sprinter sucks. But basketball is on and that always makes everything all better.

I also like this one, but you can't see the snow as well. Ok. At all.


this time's for real v2

do horses ever dream of becoming predatory? of talons forged from barbed wire and dinosaur bones? do rabbits ever desire lupine teeth? of rending and blood lust and disemboweling? do mice wish for ursine claws? of elephantine tusks? or scorpion tails?

the blunt-nosed killers of the deep scry for plankton and feast on kale. the grey, howling maddened beasts with raging, fire colored eyes crave orange root and leafy greens. the kings of the jungle grow quadruple stomachs and flatten their bicuspids.

what goes around.


this time's for real

do horses ever dream of becoming predatory?
rabbits ever desire lupine teeth?
flip the coin.
grey, howling beasts craving orange root and leafy greens.
kings of the jungle growing quadruple stomachs and flattening their bicuspids.

the better to eat you with my dear.


It's funny how one day all can seem like a lost cause and then the next, with a few lines through the items on the ever growing list, all seems bright and shiny again. Maybe it's the fact that I was wearing shorts and flip flops earlier today, or maybe I got enough sleep last night, or maybe it's because something shifted in my brain and I actually have a positive outlook for some reason.


Yesterday, I was all ready to drop out of school, sell my house and join the peace corps. Today, I got three projects done for work, got my flat tire fixed on my car FOR FREE, went for a run, got my homework done in one class, wrote one of two essays for my other class and STILL had time to blog and keep up with Reader. Yes. I rocked out with my c__k out.


day 4

Oh Oklahoma. I didn't get to watch your game, but Jesus, you guys apparently sucked it. Big time. 30 point loss? Wow.

Memphis, you sort of proved what I've been saying all season about you. Just because you are undefeated in a really crappy conference does not mean that you should be ranked No 1 in the nation. Yes, yes, you did, in fact, win your game against Miss St, but you certainly didn't play like a No 1 team should. Just sayin'.

And damn you UNC. Why won't you lose? If you win it all again this year, I'm coming to Raleigh and burning down your field house. Or maybe just slashing He Who Shall Not Be Named's tires. Or TP'ing his house. Or punching him in the face. Bastard. C'mon Tennessee! You hold my world in your hands now. DON'T BLOW IT.

Oh. And I'm still No 1 in Doug's pool. Whoo Hoo! I gotta keep rubbing it in because a) I certainly didn't expect to ever be on top, and b) I certainly didn't expect it to last this long.


day three

• That Lopez kid from Stanford is really ecstatic that he made the freethrow that sent the game into overtime, but really kicking himself in the ass that he didn't make both of them, which woulda sent them to the Sweet 16. But then his brother scores the winning goal to make up for his deficit. Think they can play on the same team in the NBA?

• Poor KSU (said with a ton of sarcasm). I've been saying all season that one player who can score 25 points per game does not a winning team make. I think one of the main reasons he's such a high-scorer is that he's pretty selfish with the ball. If you shut him down, with the other players being pretty shoddy, you will win the game. And, apparently, it's pretty easy to shut him down. What's K-State gonna do next year, when he goes to the NBA?

• Whaddup Duke? Not that I'm all that sad to see you go, because I hate you almost as much as I hate UNC, but still. You had an exceptionally crappy year. A small part of me was hoping that you'd have a good tourney so you could look back on this year without being full of regret and shame.

• Thanks go out to Xavier and Washington State for keeping my bracket alive.

• I was growing kinda nervous in the first half there KU, and there's still way too much time left, but you're ahead by 15 so that's good. Ok, the announcers are saying we're in the Sweet 16, so I can safely say that you while you didn't play exceptionally well, you did pull it out there in the end. Overall, good defense, but you could've handled the ball better.

p.s. And OH HOLY CRAP! MSU is beating Pitt which, even though I picked it that way on my bracket, I didn't fully believe would even be a close contest.

p.s. 2 And OH HOLY CRAP!! Tx A&M is walloping UCLA. Go Big 12!

p.s. 3 Ok, so T A&M didn't make it there in the end, but still, I didn't figure they'd even come close. It gives me hope that UCLA may not make it to the Final Four...

Updated to add: I'm currently in No 1 standing in the pool. I must go rub it in everyone's faces before today ends and I'm in last place again.

day two

It was a lot more exciting than day one with quite a few upsets. I really wish I'd picked this one, but who's ever heard of Siena? Except for from a box of 64? I did get San Diego and Villanova, which enabled me to revel in the fact that for the next two seconds, I'm No 1 in Doug's pool.

And UNC has yet to experience that fiery ring of fire.

Is anyone else really, kind of sad that Drake lost?


life is absurd

The shaking didn't alleviate the swollenness/turgid or bombastic/swell and neither did the rhythmic thumping.

The oh god no's are whispered into the dark corners.

The oh shit yeahs are scratched into the mirrors.

But nothing ever resolves.

Just revolves.

To pummel you in the face once again when you least require it.

I feel obligated.

day one

In a day of very few upsets, the only really exciting game was the Duke/Belmont contest. Really Coach K? Belmont? I'm just glad that KU isn't the only one that has trouble against unknown, tiny schools in the first round. That kid that made the winning shot for the Blue Devils is so gonna get laid. A lot. When he gets back to North Carolina.

Also, it turns out that Beasley is better than Mayo. Question answered and everyone moved on quickly.

And, after a brief time period where my bracket was tied for first in Doug's pool, I'm now waaaaaay down in the standings.

Oh and I am very thankful that the 'Hawks survived round 1, but that's all I'm saying about that.


5 years

On one hand, it's hard to believe that we've been in Iraq for 5 years. On the other, it feels like we've been there for much, much longer than that. And W still refuses to admit to the lies that got us there in the first place, saying now, that it was worth getting Saddam Hussein out of power. And, while I can't necessarily disagree with that, I'm not sure it was our responsibility or worth the eventual $4 trillion price tag.

And, I thought Obama's speech yesterday was simply fantastic and pretty amazing. His frankness and forthrightness on two subjects that are so polarizing in politics was breathtaking to behold. Truly. Ironically, it brought to mind Bill Clinton's speeches when he was on the campaign trail in 91. And while it was great and stirring and all that, I think it won't make a lick of difference.

Two exciting things that will take my mind off the current state of the world:
1) The Big Dance starts in exactly 25 hours. Whoot! And, I still haven't filled out my brackets. I need to do that right now. Go' Hawks! And may the Tarheels go down in a fiery flame of destruction in, if not the first round, the second. Or third. Just no Final Four for He Who Shall Not Be Named.

2) My first term of MFA classes starts in five days. I'm extremely nervous about biting off more than I can chew, both in time and financial terms, but I'm also pretty excited about starting a new phase in my life. Hopefully, I will not only learn some things, but gain a new appreciation for this profession that I chose, oh so long ago.

Happy Hump Day everyone.



After another extremely fantastic game, the 'Hawks finally beat Texas, winning the Big 12 Championship outright. It was a nail biter, and the d household was not a pleasant place to be. Just ask the R-dog. I was torn actually. Half of me wanted us to lose today's game, half of me wanted us to win. Why, you might ask? Because a win means that now we're a No 1 seed in the Tourney and that is never, ever a good thing—we never do well in the tourney when we're ranked No 1. I was hoping for a No 2. Or even a No 3. Plus, statistically, No 1's don't make it to the Final Four all that often.

So, the upshot is, I'm really nervous about the tournament.


what the turtles really want

global warming? light a fire in my brain release the frozen juices trapped in primordial tar pits time blocked stop loss hair loss lip gloss in the end i didn't need your fruity misogynistic chewiness to bring it all to a halt it came about through the will of my own two feet owed more to absentmindedness than any crushing desire pouring forth from the withered prune occupying space in my cavity.

if you want, i'll come to your house and we can drink the kool-aid together.


the result of turning on the boob tube

‘Yes! He was adopted! So what?!’ he cried softly at little more than a whisper. ‘Does that mean I loved him any less? Does that mean it doesn’t stab me in the heart every time I walk by his room? See his tiny bed, still made with his favorite sheets? Does that lessen the pain I feel, or fill the place in my life left empty in the wake of all of this?’ He put his head down on his knees and tried to quell the shaking in his shoulders that would belie the strong façade he’d slowly built up over the past six years.

The detective closed her notebook and sighed imperceptibly. She paused for a second, unsure of how to proceed, before standing up slowly, pulling a business card from her pocket and placing it softly on the table in front of him, pushing it towards him with one calloused finger. Then she left without saying a word, closing the door softly behind her.

I don't know. It popped into my head last night while listlessly watching mind-numbing, stupid television.

Oh, and speaking of television, I saw a preview of a show starring Parker Posey and the woman who played Claire on 'Six Feet Under'. It's gonna be on Fox. This, to me, is akin to finding out that Ms. Posey has been running a black market, Croatian-child slavery ring out of her Hollywood mansion. I mean, tv? And, Fox? Is Fox suddenly more cool than I was aware? I had a lot of respect for her, but now I'm not so sure what to think. Maybe I'll have to actually watch the show to see if it's any good or not. Although, it's on Friday night, so that doesn't necessarily bode well.


i ruined one of my favorite t-shirts, or dogs will never reach nirvana, for they know not patience

I'm on a home improvement kick lately. I think it has a lot to do with that spring is around the corner and I'm feeling the need for everything to be clean and tidy and orderly and in good working order. This weekend it was plumbing, and today, today was painting the coat closet. Now, I don't know why I always do this, but it seems to happen every single time I decide to paint something. I forget to change into suitable painting clothes and end up with paint all over whatever I'm wearing. This time it was my TVOTR shirt. Oh well, it was probably due for the rag bin sometime soon anyway. At least I decided to change out of my Gucci tuxedo after I got back from the post office this afternoon. That would've really sucked.

Every day, around 3p the dogs tell me that it's time for them to eat by poking me with their noses. Even though they don't get to eat dinner until 5p. So, when I don't feed them right away, they start pacing around. Going in and out the doggie door. Standing out in the backyard and barking their little brains out so I will have to go out and yell at them. You get the idea. Today, because I was crammed into a tiny little closet and they couldn't really get to me, they just stood right behind me from 3p until I finally gave up and fed them at 4.5p. Nope. Not in the least bit annoying and exasperating.


just some thoughts

I read a couple of pieces today, and saw on CNN that Republicans are voting for Hillary Clinton in the Texas primary because they think she'd be easier for McCain to beat in the general than Obama. Texas is messed up. In a lot of ways, not least that they have a caucus and a primary. WTF? The good thing about it is that a ton of people came out to vote in Texas which is pretty awesome.

If Hillary is still behind in delegates today, she should bow out gracefully. If she doesn't, it shows that she doesn't really care about the Democratic Party, but is only in this for herself. Her recent comments intimating that McCain would make a better president than Obama also lead me to think this is true.

I'm trying really hard to not get too worked up about the outcome of tonight's vote, but a large part of me really, really wants this to be over and a clear nominee to be decided upon. It doesn't look like that's gonna happen though and we have several more weeks of this. At least. I'm entirely afraid that it won't be decided until August and McCain will have a pretty big lead on his strategy to beat the Democrats in November.

when you've got something to prove

You beat a team who beat you earlier in the year and then two days later you beat a team who just beat the No 1 team in the conference by more than 50 points. Yep. You read that correctly. Which moves you up to No 1 in your conference and No 5 overall and gives you a No 2 seed in the tourney.

Which is exactly where we should be.


i am a man, or a longish post that may actually, literally, bore you to tears

A few days ago, the pipes underneath my kitchen sink started leaking (the only reason I even noticed it was because I stepped in a big puddle of water that was all over the kitchen floor). It didn't seem like anything serious. It was just a little drip, so I put a bucket under it and decided I would deal with it later.

Well, when I woke up this morning, I decided it would be Plumbing Day, because there's also been another plumbing issue that I've been ignoring for the past couple of months: a dripping bathtub faucet. So, after gearing up with a few cups of coffee and a viewing of 'Gone Baby Gone' (which was as good as everyone says), I decided it was time to get going with all of the manliness. I flipped a metaphorical coin to see which one I would tackle first, and the bathroom won out. I have to confess, that I had no idea what I was doing, or how to even fix the problem, regardless of how many articles purportedly about fixing it that I read last week, but I figured that I'd just take some pliers to it and see what I could see.

So I removed the faucet handles ok, but after that, I didn't really know what to do. Everything I read said that a dripping faucet can be solved by replacing the washer in the handles. But there weren't any washers. So I removed everything that could possibly be removed and then put it all back again, clueless as to how to fix it. And, as you can see, I think this is the same faucet assembly that was put in when the house was built in 1955 (look at how gross it is under there), so actually fixing it will probably require replacing everything with new gear. Something I'm not sure I'm willing to do.

So, since I failed at that one, but didn't actually destroy anything beyond repair, I figured it couldn't possibly be that much of a disaster to tackle the kitchen sink. So, I crawled under there and saw that the J joint was cracked and that's where the leak was coming from. Now, I kinda love my local Ace Hardware store, so I have no problems having an excuse to make a trip, and this one was for something that was kind of legitimate. You know, tools were needed. Plumbing things must be purchased, not just paint or screws or something lame like that. I returned home from my first trip with a new J joint and a monkey wrench!

I started off doing what most people would do, and attempted to unscrew the nuts holding the old J joint in place. Well, guess what? That simple action revealed that not only was the J joint corroded, but so was the pipe leading from the joint to the wall, and when I tried to unscrew that nut, it pretty much ripped the pipe right in half.

So, it was back to Ace for one of those pipes.

When I got everything back home, I discovered that the new pipe was too long so I had to cut it down. Guess what? It meant another trip to Ace for a hacksaw. But! That's it! After about 10 minutes, I had the new pipe cut down to size, with plumber's tape wrapped around the joints and then a few minutes and some twists with my brand new monkey wrench later, I had new pipe assemblage under my sink.

And, guess what? It doesn't even leak.

Ungh. Me. Man.

I guess a .500 batting average isn't too bad, but I'm gonna feel like a big ol' schmo tomorrow when I have to call the plumber to come fix the bathroom one.


it hurts so good

When we heard that it was supposed to get up to 70º today, we decided that there was no way we could not get outside and enjoy it. It's only March 1! And it's 70º! Yay, global warming! (Not really, but I guess if it's gonna happen, we might as well take advantage of it, right?) Anyway, we felt like it was a perfect day to head up the Poudre Canyon and try out some climbs at The Palace.

The first good omen of the day was the river crossing. Normally, it causes me to get a little wet, but today, because the river is still mostly frozen over, we just walked across, sort of like Jesus would do.

We headed up to The Palace Wall hoping to avoid some of the crowds that were already forming, even at 10a. Dylan started us off on Big Ass Holds, 5.9, which for him is a good warm-up. I followed. Kind of. I made it to the top without falling or hanging, but I couldn't figure out how to really finish it (meaning being able to rap off and clean it), so I had to come back down. So, after he TR'd a nice crack climb to the right of BAH, I went up it again and this time completed it successfully.

Then we moved over to another, unnamed 5.10(?) which Dylan led successfully, only hanging once on a tricky roof problem. I had to hang, a lot, on my turn, trying to get past the same bulge, but eventually, even despite all of my zig zagging, I made it to the top.

It was starting to get pretty hot (in March!), so we moved down to the shade. Where all the hordes were. Seriously, I have never, ever seen The Palace as busy as it was today. People were parked all up and down the road in places where it probably wasn't a good idea to park. And almost all of the climbs were taken. So, apparently, everyone else wanted to get outside today as well. Luckily, due to our good fortune today, we got down to one of Dylan's favorite climbs just as another couple was finishing up.

I got a little bloody and a little sunburned and a lot tired. It was amazing out today and was so good to get outside. It definitely made me much happier than I have been all week.