1.09.2008

it's the price you pay, or don't bring in da funk and speak very, very softly

It seems as though another (subconscious) one of my New Year's resolutions was to eat as many things that require ketchup as I can stuff in my maw. Scrambled eggs, fried egg sandwiches, turkey burgers, veggie corn dogs and french fries. Lots and lots of french fries.

I know that most of my new dietary requirements stem from the fact that I am suffering a massive bout of depression. Which I almost always do this time of year. The holidays are over and there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. But winter. And grayness. And the frigid.

On Monday I got a full-time, big boy membership at the gym at which I climb. This means that I can now use everything and anything I want to there. Not that I probably will, but it's nice to have options I guess. So, yesterday I went and rode the bike for an hour. Much more palatable than that fucking medieval torture device that is the treadmill. It made me feel marginally better, but I still can't stomach the thought of the rabbit food.

Even considering putting a carrot into my mouth makes me nauseous and want to throw up a little. Today I am trying to muster up the energy to get my ass off the couch and go to the gym and boulder. I should go, right? Even thirty minutes would be better than nothing. That's what I tell myself anyway.

11 comments:

Dylan K said...

GO!

I have a feeling today won't be as lame as we thought...

Kate said...

Your tags crack me up. "it's all about me" "life is disappointing" "run screaming from the room" "the holidays"

I wonder what comes up if I click on "woe is me"?

I totally know how you feel. Winter is so hard for me too. When I first met Mark I explained to him how important it was for me to keep moving during the winter. Exercise kind of changes the despair and depression into a fiery self-hatred that will help get me out of bed in the morning. Then I get a "positive" cycle, where the "I hate myself because I'm so fat and out of shape" keeps me going to the gym for more self-flagulation with a masochistic single-mindedness which prevents all of those sad and empty feelings from getting a foothold in my brain.

So yeah, go to the gym. I think I should too.

Big Daddy said...

At least the days are getting longer.

We should invent a holiday for January since it is so boring.

Besides MLK Day.

Or all weekends should be 3 days long in January.

d said...

dylan: i went. it wasn't as lame as i thought it would be. i even almost completed an advanced problem! but i did only last about 45 minutes...

kate: solidarity! winter blows! exercise away the pain!

bd: 3 day weekends sound totally awesome.

d said...

oh and kate, if you click on woe is me, you get a lot of blathering and moaning. it's not pretty. i don't recommend it.

Dylan K said...

I made it to the gym also, and did much better than I expected! Too bad I'll never have a superbeard no matter how hard I rock at the gym...

Bridget B. said...

I had a membership at the climbing gym. Briefly. I think I went twice. I've never been a great climber, and it was always a little intimidating . . . perhaps the thought that the mere sight of you with your grim gloomy eyes and awe-inspiring beard is sending short plump climber wannabes home to tremble in the fetal position under the bed for fear of not being as cool as you are . . . well, perhaps that thought might cheer you right up out of those winter doldrums.

Your affirmation:

I am a climbing viking who strikes fear into the heart of mere mortals who lack my ability to boulder and grow blond facial hair!"

hmmm . . . is there a career as a motivational speaker in my future?!

d said...

um. maybe you can become a motivational speaker. i like the inspiring fear part, but i'm not sure i like the 'grim/gloomy' eyes part. do i have grim gloomy eyes? 'cause that's not good.

Bridget B. said...

d- the eyes in the photo are not grim and/or gloomy, but gotta say, the description of yourself in post-holiday ennui led me to picture you with grim and/or gloomy eyes. I'm sure it's all better now . . . just ignore the funny girl with the adjectives.

d said...

no! i love adjectives. and don't mind having grim and gloomy eyes, just not all the time.

you said ennui. brownie points.

Scoobers said...

rabbit food is not suitable for winter. i agree completely. it's all about hibernating and don't you have to be fat to do it? riiiight.

it's all about rationalization over here since i love me some warm, salty, ketchupy goodness.

but seriously, good luck at the gym. i'll be a fellow sufferer also when the resolutionists clear out. ;)