it's coming

Last year, Ann decided that our little group of friends here in FtC needed to start a tradition called Friendsgiving and Alan graciously offered up his nice, largish home that is big enough to contain a dining room. Well, guess who decided he could be the host this year? Yeah. You got it. Me. Eek.

At the inaugural Friendsgiving there were only eight of us. But, apparently, we've become slightly more popular because this year there are 3,581 of us. Ok. Ok. That's a slight exaggeration (but not really), but we have almost doubled in number. There for a while people kept jumping on the list of invitees like it was the last lifeboat on the Titanic. But a couple of weeks ago it finally stabilized at 14. I think. Unless the residents of the old folks' home down the street hear about it sometime in the next 24 hours and decide they need free food. And, keep this in mind, my house is tiny. Like. Tiny. And there are 14 of us. Did I mention that there are 14 of us? And, it's cold out, so it's not like people can even go stand out on the back porch. I guess people could go hang out in the bedroom, but that just seems really weird.

You also have to understand that I'm a pretty terrible and sporadic entertainer. I think the last time I had people over at my house was when a few friends stopped by to watch a basketball game while I was doped up on Percoset after my knee surgery. It was rockin'. So, I've been anxiously waiting for the 16th to arrive and I keep going over lists in my head of things I need to do. Last night, I scrubbed the house from floor to ceiling. I even dusted. Today, I'm going over to Sarada's to pick up chairs, because if I don't then everyone will be eating dinner off the floor. Then to the liquor store to get beer, lots of beer because maybe if everyone gets drunk enough they won't notice that they're eating mashed potatoes and gravy with their fingers. Then check to make sure the toilet is clean enough to eat off of (not really, although if any more people come someone's going to be eating dinner in there). Wait, with that many people should I set up a Port-a-John in the front yard? Then go get the ice I forgot. And, should I hang up Christmas lights so it looks kind of festive? Do I have enough toilet paper? Candles. I should get some candles. Are crackers and cheese enough for appetizers, or do I need to go get some of those cocktail weenies or crab cakes or fried okra or something? Should I rent some circus clowns?

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggh. I'll be in bed with the blankets pulled up over my head. Someone come get me if the house is on fire. Other than that, leave me alone.

Does anyone have any Percoset I can have?


LSL said...

I'm an anxious entertainer as well. 14 people sounds stressful! I'm sure you'll do great - you're already thinking of everything.

Dylan K said...

My bet is that the party will take care of itself and be fine! It's the aftermath I don't envy you... :D

d said...

lsl: i'm glad someone understands my pain. thanks for the words of encouragement.

dylan: all i'm hoping for is that people have fun.

Dylan K said...

I will have fun or bust a gut trying!
And when I do, I'll know that it was your preparations that ensured I have toilet paper to wipe it up with...