the robot said don't move dammit

'Please enter,' the robotic female voice commanded me.

'Please stand still. You will feel a puff of air.' It was more like a gust, but still, surprisingly refreshing and startling. And then a longish wait.

'Please exit and remove your shoes.'

I totally got scanned for possible bombs hidden about my person today. I found out this morning that I needed to leave town and go back to the Homeland, so I didn't buy my ticket until this afternoon. According to The Comedy Duo who were in line in front of me, the Special Security Line that's Equipped with the Puffer is standard issue for anyone who buys a ticket right before they're supposed to fly.

The funny thing about it is, they were so concerned only with the possible, hidden bombs that they ignored the fact that I had saline solution, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and shaving cream in my carry-on. And all of them were in much larger than 3-0z containers. It's laughable and really terrifying if you stop to think about it.

I got off the train at my terminal, made it to my gate and was puzzled that I was at a Northwest gate when I was flying on a United plane. I looked at my ticket again and discovered that I had been looking at my seat assignment, not the gate. You would think that they'd make the gate number bigger than the seat number to avoid this kind of confusion. I know the word 'seat' is printed right next to the number, but still. So, I turned around and got back on the train and finally arrived at the correct gate, where, much to my dismay, I found out my flight had been delayed for an hour and a half. So, I scarfed my dinner (and I mean scarfed—my stomach kind of hurts now) and went to another gate where an earlier flight was leaving. And, it looks like the Gods in Charge of the Travelers might be smiling on me because the flight attendant said I'd most likely get on. All because I didn't check any bags. For once it's paid to haul all this crap around the airport. Usually I'm a mad checker because I hate lugging all the stuff all over creation. I'm glad I strayed from my usual m.o.

I probably won't be blogging for a couple of days, so everyone have a good weekend.


Dylan said...

Safe travels to you.

annmkuhn1 said...

Are you alright? You haven't posted for days and you weren't online today. Are you house hunting?