domesticity and naughty bits

Looking for your very first house to buy ever in your life, when up to this point you've spent the last 18 years living a fairly nomadic lifestyle—resisting the urge to settle down as if it were a rat infested with the Hanta Virus, is a lot like being addicted to internet porn. From what I've heard, I mean. Having never seen even an ounce of naked people on the internets myself, I wouldn't have any personal knowledge of what it's like to be addicted to the stuff. Swear.

But, looking for a house. like internet porn, consumes every waking thought, an extremely large chunk of your time and leaves you all sweaty and disoriented.

And, I haven't even physically looked at anything yet, I've just been surfing the MLS site like mad.

I swear I saw a flagstone patio in one of those somewhere. Where was it?

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